Congrats Yo!  This is big week to be guidette of the week.  With the return of the Jersey Shore (the show that “borrowed” the guido fist pump from us) back on the air, lots and lots of peeps are emailing in their pics to be guido and guidette of the week.  I dunno why, but this one caught my eye.  So congrats, you better make us proud out there next weekend.  Go Big!

This is a GFP first, but one of our illustrious fist pumpers wrote up a rant to post and you know what, we’re gonna post it. Thanks to Andy G from Fringe Magazine for your commentary. Fitting for today.

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In the current economy, many people are still struggling to make a living. Back in January of this year, the unemployment rate in Oregon was 11 percent. At that time, a spokesperson in the Oregon Employment Department said about 40 percent of new jobs will pay under $30,000 a year, and about 25
percent will pay over $50,000 a year. In other words, the lower paying jobs were growing more rapidly than the higher paying jobs. But if you’re a fist-pumping Guido who looks like you’ve been sunbathing on the surface of Mercury, never again will you have to settle for Fazoli’s when Olive Garden is really what you wanted. In a move as ballsy as that of the Friends cast, the Jersey Shore gang has ended their collective contract dispute with MTV. The cast, which includes such personalities as The Situation, Snooki, J-Woww, Pauly D, and Stephen Hawking (just kidding, though he has flirted with a stint on Celebrity Rehab), is now set to pull down about $30,000 per episode. Each. That’s disparaging news to someone working at The Container Store in Portland, where it will take a year to make the same amount as The Situation makes in one solid hour of GTL. For those who do not watch the show, GTL is Guido code for Gym, Tan, and Laundry. If you guessed Gasconade, Tabanid, and Languor, you probably shouldn’t be watching Jersey Shore. The show’s production company disagreed with the strike, and a source close to the show says if push comes to shove, they are willing to dump the cast and start from scratch. Does this mean it’s the end for Captain Abdominal? Maybe not. According to reports, MTV has already offered The Situation a one-time $60,000-$180,000 bonus if he signs on for a possible fourth season.
Huh?

For $180,000, The Situation can afford a 158-year membership to Crunch Gym, about 2,600 Level 3 Unlimited Month tanning packages at Half-Baked Tanning in Port Monmouth, NJ, and 138 top-loading washer/dryer combos. Basically, a metric Crapton of GTL. Maybe these exorbitant salaries will mark the beginning of the end for reality TV on MTV. Maybe the network will no longer have the cash to pay its stars because of the bar set by Jersey Shore. After all, wasn’t it Heidi Montag’s outrageous plastic surgery bill that caused such a horrible ending to The Hills? We wouldn’t want the same thing to happen to Jersey Shore, would we? Imagine the show ending with all of them going to college or getting real jobs. Scary! Not to fear, there is a ray of light at the end of the Cannelloni. MTV is almost out of money.

They must be, because earlier this week, MTV announced 30 new episodes of Beavis and
Butthead are in the works. Hopefully Remote Control isn’t far behind in the resurrection
category.
So I say Grazie, Jersey Shore, Grazie.

Wow…wow…wow!  Just when you think you’ve seen it all, and as the year end closes in, I thought I had, some amazing guidette action just comes at you like a Jersey Shore explosion.  This is epic.  I can’t pick a winner from these three.  3 way tie this week.  Many thanks for the pic.  Enjoy people.

The Mating Rituals of Guidos at the Jersey Shore

GET…PUMPED…UP…Hilarious, just getting excited right?

Props to Mike for showcasing his boy Nicky’s hot moves in this weeks newest video.

Amazing job, and you’re friend watching is pumpin it with the best of em.

Guidettes just wanna have fun.

Okay, we don’t know what Beatstock is, but we have no doubt hilarity ensues

Cmon..we know you’re jealous.

Textbook guidette performance.

L-Guidomine, just what the doctor ordered.

Is your new hair cut this fly?

Our newest video needs the commentary. Read while you watch please.

Comment 1."Nice hair cut who did it
Helen Keller is she your dentist also,
maybe she picks your clothes out.
One Word GUIDOOOOOOOO!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!"

Comment 2."this is embarassing for italians, this kid is a complete douche bag, and younger girls buy into this gay bullshit and these kids think they are the shit. this kid is a fuckin queer, and he is prolly like half italian and is puttin on a big front"

Comment 3.:wow what an embarassment to italians everywhere…..plz do humanity a favor, find the nearest cliff and jump"

Hello Keeper of the Guidos:

Only in NYC… can you transform yourself from a chubby Greek teen from northern VA into a real life Guido in a few short years at college.  He took up permanent residence in NYC after graduation, and yes, is actually my friend.  He is in denial that he is one of them, probably because he has not started grooming his brows yet, but the hair, the open shirt, and the Criss Angel necklaces are all so “jaga bombs” and jersey shore.  Also of obvious note, the big haired girl on his side.

He deserves this honor for all of his hard work, training, and protein supplements.  I only wish I could submit every photo of him currently posted on Facebook, but this one is the clear winner.

Thank you for your consideration,

Mary

P.S. – I was directed to your site because yes, my boyfriend’s real name is Guido (no, not this kid I submitted; the real Guido hates Guidos).  When giving his name for a takeout order at a sandwich shop in South Philly he had to say, “Yeah, Guido, real name, no gimmicks.”  He hates himself.  My mother thinks he should change his name.  We went to the Jersey shore and he lied and told some people his name was Marco

Thanks Mary.  The year might be winding down, but that doesnt mean the party is.